I am a Kingston based therapist who focuses on how adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) affect thought patterns, behaviours, and relationships in adulthood.
The effects of ACEs are often felt into our adult years, and can have harmful impacts on our physical and mental health. They could lead to a turn to alcohol or drugs as an emotional support. It could be that you learned not to depend on others, or trust others with how you feel, fearing they might withdraw from you, bulldoze or gaslight you. It could look like hyper-independence; depending on others never felt safe, so you distance yourself emotionally. People pleasing, needing to have control, and feeling as though your relationships are not reciprocal can all be signs that your safety mechanism from childhood isn't working anymore.
As an adult, you get to take control of who you are and who you want to be. Learning what your thought patterns are and why they were created is incredibly powerful. This can shift your perspective on yourself, others, and the society you live in.
Your childhood was largely out of your control. Your adulthood is yours to create.